Becoming Mama Devotional January 5th


January 5th

You are a daughter of the King!

Your worth comes from the sacrifice of Jesus. Think about that. You are worth so much to God that He sent His Son, His Child, His own creation, part of Himself, to you as a gift. Not only that but He then created an avenue for you to come directly to Him instead of through a priest; He wanted to be in direct contact with you. And He asked His child to give His life so that you could live with Him for eternity.

If all love stories went like this we might explode from the love I think. Your Father awaits your arrival and until that day He wants to build an amazing an intimate relationship with you. He wants to be in contact with you constantly, and He wants to bless you over and over.

Too many times we as women let the world determine our value. We aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough, curvy enough, good enough mom’s, good enough wives, good enough cook’s, the list goes on and on. We bully each other and we tear each other down until we are nothing more than what the world says we are. Ladies, it’s time to stand tall, know your worth. You are worth dying for! You are worth living for!

It doesn’t matter what the world says you are because Jesus says you are His! You are His beloved! You are the person He desires! He loves you flaws included because to Him you are flawless. You are worth more than rubies. Worth more than gold.

Song of Solomon 4:7

You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

Father God, We are so thankful for Your love. You have given us a gift of value, a gift of worth. Something priceless. We ask that You will wipe away the stains of yesterday, every negative thought and every scaring word or action against us. You alone determine our value. You alone determine our worth and we will no longer stand on the lies from the world. We want to go forth from this day knowing we are daughters of the King! Thank You for Your blessings and Your gifts. Amen.

Do Something:

Today write down the good things about yourself. Use your post it notes and write then down and stick them on your mirrors. Every time the reflection tells you that you are worthless God can tell you you are amazing. You are flawless! Go Be Beautiful.

Goals!


This past year God told me and just about everyone else that I had something to say. He kept telling people to come tell me to speak. Over and over again and in the least likely places, God sent this message. I knew what it meant. He laid it on my heart but I was fearful and needed more preparation. Then one day I woke up and felt really sorry for myself in ministry. Reaching out to a group of ladies I trust, I said pray, God is delaing wiht my heart. Sometimes when God works in you, your heart gets so heavy you feel so burdened. One of the ladies I hadn’t ever spoken to, we are part of a leading ministry ladies group, sent me a video message. It was exactly what I had been praying about and pondering. Literally the video was her saying, go write that devotional and that book. What?! You mean God cares about the tiniest little things in our life? I knew God was changing my ministry and I kept thinking no, it can’t be that. But it was. So I have been working very hard to create this devotional.

I pondered keeping it to myself until it is finished but I decided to post it as I go. My goal has and always will be to encourage women to be better versions of themselves. It is hard being a woman, it is hard being a mama, a wife, and a leader. God desires so many things for us as women and I feel God has called me to help others see what God has in store for them. So as I write I will share!

Devotional


January 1st

Happy New Year! In fact, everything is new. This is your time to start fresh. As we reflect on the things we have or have not accomplished, it is important to reflect on the kind of woman God calls us to be. The kind of mom, sister, aunt, leader, etc. we were meant to be. The thing is, every person is thinking about things they wish they hadn’t said or done. Every one has bad days or weeks or even years. None of that matters because we can come to God and He will literally wipe the slate clean. Does that mean forget it ever happened? Not necessarily. Sometimes it is perfectly ok to forget, but what it really means is that you no longer have to live in regret and shame and embarrassment. You get a chance to be a rock star at life.

I am so grateful that I serve a loving and gracious God. What a wonderful gift of forgiveness we have been given!

When I think about the things I want to change in myself, I find it to be very helpful to write down the things I wish to accomplish in all aspects of my life. It gives me a constant reminder and a visual goal to work toward and motivation to keep me going when I am struggling. I want to encourage you to think about and write down the things you wish to accomplish in all the areas of your life; whether it be career, relationships, spiritual, etc. Then take some time to write down the steps you might need to take to meet the goals.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: Old things are passed away;behold, all things are become new.

Father God, we just want to thank You for blessing us with a new year. We pray for wisdom as we go through each new day. Help us to extend grace to others and to grow in Your word. Thank You that You forgive us and make us new creations in You. As we go forward this year, help us to live close to You and keep You as our focus. Amen

Proverbs 31 helps us figure out the kind of woman we are called to be. Use it as a guide to examine your own life.

Goals This Year:

  • Relationships
  • Steps to Accomplish
  • Career or Personal
  • Steps to Accomplish
  • Spiritual
  • Steps to Accomplish

Do Something:

Year of Thanks: 365 Thank you’s ; every day write something you are thankful for on a piece of paper and place in a jar. You could also do this activity on a canvas, wood, plate, etc. Use your imagination!

Dealing With Miscarriage


Have you lost a child?

I have.  After baby number 2 was born we found ourselves pregnant with baby number 3. The only problem was that I was on the Depovera shot.

When I was 10 weeks along I began this traumatic process of miscarriage.  The ugly M word.  The process ultimately ended in a DNC, the day before Mother’s Day.

There was a lot I didn’t know to ask then.  There was a lot I took for granted.  I was young and it was before the time of Facebook and information wasn’t as readily available.

When I went through my surgery I did exactly as the doctor said.  Then I went home and I cried for about a week while taking care of a 2 year old and a 1 year old.  I then put my grief and nightmares away and only grieved in my private time.

I moved on with life.

I moved on with life without my anticipated child.  I wiped tears away when I drove alone down the road.  Every Mother’s Day I pretended it was such a happy occasion  and every December 21st I busied myself with Christmas events.  (That was the due date.)

I honored our baby with ornaments and garden additions.

I was able to continue on with life and heal.

And then something happened,  planned parenthood decided to sell body parts and mutilate babies.  People became open about pregnancy loss and their last moments with their babies, no matter the gestational age.  Pictures were posted and even videos.

I happened upon a video of an abortion clinic and the technician was mutilating a baby that was 10 weeks gestational.

All of a sudden I felt robbed. I felt like I was not given control over my child’s death.  I had to face the realization that they took my unborn child and threw the baby in the garbage.

So how do you come back from that?

I did have a break down. I had my moment.  Then I decided I had no choice but to give it to God. I know my baby is with Jesus.  I may not have had the funeral or the physical closure,  but I have peace because I serve a God with an enormous amount of love for His children and He cares so much for me and my baby.  I will depart from here and be united with my child some day. That is my comfort.

For those of you who are struggling to move forward because you have lost a child and these videos and posts are digging up feelings you thought you dealt with,  I just want to encourage you to ask Jesus for peace. I am praying for you every time I see a post.

Dealing With Miscarriage


Have you lost a child? 

I have.  After baby number 2 was born we found ourselves pregnant with baby number 3. The only problem is I was on the Depovera shot.

When I was 10 weeks along I began this traumatic process of miscarriage.  The ugly M word.  The process ultimately ended in a DNC, the day before Mother’s Day.

There was a,lot I didn’t know to ask then.  There was a lot I took for granted.  I was young and it was before the time of Facebook and information wasn’t as readily available. 

When I went through my surgery I did exactly as the doctor said.  Then I went home and I cried for about a week while taking care of a 2 year old and a 1 year old.  I then put my grief and nightmares away and only grieved in my private time. 

I moved on with life. 

I moved on with life without my anticipated child.  I wiped tears away when I drove alone down the road.  Every Mother’s Day I pretended it was such a happy occasion  and every December 21st I busied myself with Christmas events.  (That was the due date.)

I honored our baby with ornaments and garden additions.

I was able to continue on with life and heal. 

And then something happened,  planned parenthood decided to sell body parts and mutilate babies.  People became open about pregnancy loss and their last moments with their babies, no matter the gestational age.  Pictures were posted and even videos.

I happened upon a video of an abortion clinic and the technician was mutilating a baby that was 10 weeks gestational.

All of a sudden I felt robbed. I felt like I was not given control over my child’s death.  I had to face the realization that they took my unborn child and threw the baby in the garbage. 

So how do you come back from that?

I did have a break down. I had my moment.  Then I decided I had no choice but to give it to God. I know my baby is with Jesus.  I may not have had the funeral or the physical closure,  but I have peace because I serve a God with an enormous amount of love for His children and He cares so much for me and my baby.  I will depart from here and be united with my child some day. That is my comfort. 

For those of you who are struggling to move forward because you have lost a child and these videos and posts are digging up feelings you thought you dealt with,  I just want to encourage you to ask Jesus for peace. I am praying for you every time I see a post.

More than Rubies


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God doesn’t want you to be poor He wants you to be modest! He wants you to be financially responsible.  That means spending money wisely and on things that matter.

Middle class America has a problem. They think the way to being wealthy is having stuff. Not just any stuff, expensive stuff.  They find their worth and their joy in their appearance to others.

Don’t you know your joy comes from the Lord? Your worth is already priceless. You are already worth more than diamonds and gold. You are far more precious than rubies.  Your worth already surpasses the newest Volvo. In fact it puts the Volvo to shame.  And your joy? Joy fades quickly when relying on a possession. You see, the earth will dissolve like snow, the sun will forget to shine,  and you will stand before our Lord and King and forever bask in His joy!

You don’t need anything this world has to offer because He has given you everything. Don’t look to find your place here. You will never live up to the standards of society. Look to our Father and He will shine upon you.

Who I AM


I wrote this as an assignment for class a few years ago.

What I Am

I am the dust that settles on the road when a car has driven by.

I am the 5 AM dew on the grass as I am headed out to milk the cows.

I am the smell of hay, sawdust, leather, and the neck of a work horse.

I come from a line of hard working farmers.

I am my mother and her fuzzy blue robe, awakening early to start the wood stove.

I am the smell of a wood burner heating our trailer and keeping our oatmeal and toast warm before school.

I am potato soup, pumpkin cookies, and hamburger gravy.

I am bunk beds, barbed wire fence, fishing holes, vines to swing from, and imaginary play.

I am the navy blue afghan that always adorned my bed.

I am swimming in the pond, playing in the mud, and drinking from the water hose.

I am strawberry patches and spring houses.

I am rolling hills and fields of corn.

I am my cousins who were also my neighbors and playmates Angel, Donna, Jeff, Curtis, Jared, Megan, Mandy, and Billy.

I am the trip to the corner store for Grandma Joyce to buy bologna, buttermilk, and cigarettes.

I am my dad’s greasy knuckles, and Grandpa Joe’s beard that smelled of buttermilk and beer.

 I am hour long Monopoly games, and black and white t.v.

I am Barbie dolls, and Sunday picnics after church.

I am from a broken home and now one of 6 children.

I am from nervous breakdowns, angry words, and alcoholism.

I am also from worn out knees asking for forgiveness and tear stained faces trying to become whole again.

I am a child with adult responsibilities.

I am high school sweethearts, still in love after all these years.

I am aware of who I am at 16.

I am anorexia and depression.

I am my dear friend who was killed in a car accident, and my cousin who killed herself at 15, both during my freshman year of high school.

I am driving the back roads and listening to Def Leopard, Journey, The Eagles, New Kids on the Block, Conway Twitty, Loretta Lynn, and Garth Brooks.

I am Grandpa and Grandma Cutlip holding hands after church.

I am her high heels and miniskirts.

I am New Life Ministries, tears, and Shari’s arms to hold me up.

I am “Keep Your Chin Up” that Dav would always tell me when I was feeling down.

I am “There Are No Yesterdays” Shari would say.

I am the organ playing “He Whom the Son has set free”, “The Old Rugged Cross”, and “Amazing Grace”.

I am the Bible and striving to be a better friend, person, and servant.

I am carried through the years by the breath of those around me, the smells, the hopes, the words.

I am Julia Bernadine.

Aging with grace and tears and cheesecake.


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Last night I was awake when the clock struck midnight. I realized how old I had just turned and all of a sudden my cheeks were wet. There were tears rolling down my face and I felt them and I said, I think I might be crying and it is a little weird. I think I might be sad that I am turning 34.

Let’s face it, I am not what you would call skinny. You could call me fat but I would punch you in the nose because that’s just mean. I call myself chubby, plumpy, but you can’t.

So here I am lying in bed last night and I am crying and my husband says what is your problem! And I say well, I am old! Not only am I 34, but I’m a fat 34. I never thought I would be a fat 34! Don’t chastise me! Don’t bring out the judgment and name calling or I will delete you. This is a safe space.

I am plump. I am 34. I am practically cripple. but I am also beautiful. I have rocking hair. Sorry but I do, and mostly I wake up that way. I am super kind. I am super forgiving. I am super giving. I am an awesome mama. I am an amazing wife. I could literally list all of my good qualities and it would make you puke.

Here’s the thing, turning 34 isn’t so bad when you are surrounded by people that love you and that you love. So I may not be what I pictured, maybe I will get there and maybe I won’t. The important thing is that I am good. I am good to the world. It would suck to be 34 and plumpy and not have contributed anything good to this earth.

So for all of you who are turning another year older this year, I just want to say, Happy Birthday, now get out there and do good.

A Thousand Years


Everyone has their opinions about songs. You hear a song and it takes you to that moment in time, a memory. Sometimes you hear a song and you weep and sometimes you laugh. I weep when I hear this song. My heart is full and I go through this gut wrenching emotion and I feel so much!

This song just, to me, puts me in the Garden of Gethsemane, the night before Jesus was crucified. It speaks of the relationship between Jesus and His bride (US). You may disagree and I am fine with that. This wasn’t really a debate anyway just a hey this reminds me of this and if I could describe the love here ya go!

CHRISTINA PERRI LYRICS

A Thousand Years”
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
One step closer
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more